Drowning

Went out for lunch with housemate today, not all of them though...since 3 of the girls went to my land lady's hometown and stay there, I got worried when they didn't came back late yesterday since I don't know where did they went at first. Now...I think maybe I shouldn't care that much, it's not like they notice anyway...we can play together but the communication between us is just crappy... better just stay away...

I haven't started anything with my presentation yet... I just don't feel like doing anything..and busy with other things as well...sometimes I feel like I am getting along with things pretty well but sometimes I feel like I don't belong here...there is something missing...I just don't know what it is...I feel like drowning slowly to an endless, dark and cold water...can't breath right, I am lost in myself...seeking a way out...without knowing where to go...

I am also confused about something that I don't even know if there is a right or wrong...trying to ignored but it just keep showing up...unwanted thoughts and feelings...I shall hit my head to a wall so that I can have amnesia...just forget bout things...escape for a while...