I am home

Finally have the time to write down everything^^ Time flew today, I have decided to trade my notebook with my brother since his new one is smaller, and easier to break, besides... it fits me more than it fits him... and technically it's mine anyway.

I am taking a few days off from everything to relax and rest both mental and physical state, I might plan something out later though^^ Before I went home, I went to that BBQ party and it turns out to be the perfect way to end my first year first sem uni life^^ I am very happy with my uni life here... I made some good friends here and hope to keep it this way and maybe better^^

I might learn how to cook from one of my best friend, hope it wont become a disaster, haha^^

Dull day

Today is a boring day...I woke up at 11.30, then took a shower.... The weather was so angry, and I became the victim of her anger... I almost melted~~
At lunch, I saw a dead pigeon on the side of the street, and also a video about a breast implant that could expand until it explode on plane due to pressure on facebook.

After I got back to the hostel, I try to read but...sigh... The sun burns until my skin hurt... I try to sleep and after a while, I was shock up by the loud thunder and sudden heavy rain...it was perfect for sleeping but I was wide awake by then, thanks to the door that suddenly slammed by the wind~~ So I study...

The weather was angry at first then she cried and shout... I wonder if she broke up with her bf~~ bad fight I guess, haha~

What a day@@

Today I started out my day with a pair of baggy eye and a tired body since I didn't sleep last night, have to study for today's paper... and my roommate had a fever yesterday but now she is as good as new^^

When I arrived at school, I was walking like a blind fly and accidentally knock a guy until his notes was all over the floor, totally my fault but he keep on saying sorry and nvm, I feel so guilty but I was in a hurry so I leave as soon as I pass him his notes. If we have a chance to meet again, I might exchange phone number and mail address with him, call it fate to meet like this, haha~~

Then, the bad news of today~ My housemate got into an accident...her right hand and leg was hurt and she miss out on her exam... then we went back to campus with leng lui to settle this incident just to find myself even more in shock because the driver was actually my classmate... Awkward!!! I wonder why do I always end up in this kind of situation...however, it didn't end bad..which is good^^ It was uneasy to see my housemate that was in pain, I really wish I can help her with the pain more...

I hope she gets better soon, luckily she writes with her left hand or she will have even more probs to come in her next paper...

^^ Plans after Exam ^^

I got my bus ticket to go back home after exam just now, which is at 24 Sept, 8.30a.m. (a little early huh? Yeah...maybe it is,haha~)

Have plans just right after my last paper ends, my new friends here at Kampar invite me to a BBQ party^^ I am already very excited about it~ hehe, I love to be in a crowd wat. They kind of decided to wear grey, which is not fix yet but I think it's a great idea^^

After get back, time for the gathering which involve eating with my old friends back at kulim and of course movies!!! Hehe~ Other than that, I am still thinking on what to do with the rest of my holidays but, I dnt think I will figure anything out just yet...

Just ask

Simple word, tricky question...but who knows, maybe there will be a perfect answer waiting for you to uncover^^

A friend ask me if he should ask, and I told him: "if you wanted to ask, just ask... Even if the answer is not really what you wanted, at least you have an answer"

"Ask or you will never know" hmm... this seems like a great slogan, haha^^

Exam Phobia, feel protected

Everyone have something that scares them, and I have things which frighten me too. I am afraid of clown, cries (baby), splashing oil (cook), but the worst is... EXAM!!! Whenever the word exam or test come out...I get super nervous, even if it's smthg easy... Well... I did try to shake it off but... sigh... I guess I can't do everything alone.

Today's test was not that terrifying, maybe it's because of the person beside me... It was that guy who helped me when I had a breakdown at ptptn last time... He doesn't talk much, but somehow... when I am around him... I feel protected... I am not even sure if that's a good thing...but I like how it feels^^ I haven't felt like this in a very long time... Maybe this is a little magic he had on me...(haha..sound like some spell) It's nice to feel like this once in a while though^^

That's about it for today, have to continue study now ^^

Water Flame

When I was just a little girl... I already heard ppl say:"Girls are made out of water, that is why they cry easily" This phrase used just flew past me... because I think it's wrong and still think so...but~~

When I was at my hometown a few days ago, I found my own diary in my computer ( I thought it was lost after reformat) and it was shocking to see how little happiness was in it... and how many tears I have silently wasted... (maybe because I only remember to write it when I am sad, haha...)

I became happier after moving here to Kampar or maybe because I get to be a student in university... but for whatever reason, the point here is...I am happier now... maybe stop pushing myself to be strong and independent all the time is not really that bad after all^^ There is nothing wrong if I am made out of water...haha, as long as I know how to manipulate it (like the picture above), there is no rule saying that water can't be strong^^

Thinking of New Hairstyle~~

Wanting to change my hairstyle again~~ hehe^^ I have been planning to having it long again but....as usual... I change my mind...again~~ Haha...this is privilege of girls~~ Well... I kinda have an undecided moment b4 but... at last... I plan it to leave it longer than now and then only cut it since the new hairstyle that I have decided after discussing with my roommate... it require me to have certain area lengthen a bit~~ but it would be after I finished my exam b4 I do anything now^^ Can't wait for this exciting day to come^^

I like short hair and one sided at front but not too short this time, so I am going for the front style at the left but the back style of the right(the length which I can put beside my neck which is y i have to grow), dnt u just love them^^(the hairstyle not the guy, well~~the guys too,haha^^)

Naruto

"I'll never give up, that's my way!"

"Naruto"... this is somewhat an animation that captured my heart... it combined true philosophy with stages of story... Somehow...I can see myself in the character Naruto... We have similar issues... we have our own believe and we have something to prove... what I like about him the most is... even when he is hurt, he still manage to stand up with a smile...

His belief is keeping him going...and mine is what that is keeping me going as well...Now I truly understand wat it mean by "I bend but don't break and somehow get through"...I will never give up...

He did put in a lot of effort for what he had accomplished... I should definitely learn from him and put in more effort... I know it might be tiring at some point but like he said... "never give up"... It take guts to do so...and I think I have it...

Movie, Dinner =)

I finished a movie called " Definitely,Maybe". Well... it's not exactly the kind of movie that will touch ur heart...but... it kinda say something like... "there is a chance where u will make mistake at the first choice, but there is always chance to make it right"... a cute young actress was playing the daughter and she remind me of what I was like when I am a kid, older than u seem...haha^^

At night...it was a definite great night... I asked my friends out and we went for dinner... the topic was so funny... we were all laughing and enjoying...and I get to know them better... I like tat feeling of eating together and talking... it feels nice~~ tonight...I am truly happy^^

I am going home at Sunday but...I dnt think it will be a relax home day...since I nid to prepare for my final and this time...I will make sure that I read whatever I have... I will try the best that I could...

I also notice that my housemate is stress out because of final... wish tat there is smthg I could do to make them feel better~~

Truly Happy

It's been a while since I last felt truly happy... I was glad that everyone around me seems to be happy.. I am glad that I have become part of some ppl's life and some more important than others... but there is a hole in me and it's getting bigger... am I truly happy? At this very moment.. I know I am not...because I am questioning...

Hmm...the feeling of loosing control seems to be still hunting me... I thought that I would get over it soon but...it just didn't go away... I am still feeling alone and drowning... maybe I am asking too much...at least I am still glad that I am apart of something^^ Just hopping that I will be fine after tomorrow's dinner with friends^^

For now...I think I will just enjoy other's happiness and maybe sooner or later I will find that very thing which will give me true happiness... mean time... enjoyING some music of Olivia Ong will be good enough for me^^ Dnt knw since when and why, her voice just makes me feel calm^^