Visual change~^w^

Ppl like visuals, they like what they can see and hear, in this twenty first century, it's kinda rare for ppl to like reading words the old fashion ways, we must improvise, add some colors in it, add something interesting, anything that will make an impact~

I realized that I am a person that leave an impression easily, but somehow my writings are not noticed~ A friend told me this : " A person is a living accomplishment that glows inside out, that is why ppl notice, but writings are something that isn't alive until that person sees and understand it " I suddenly realized that it's not about what I wrote at first, but what attracts them to read it that is important, that why I need to change, I wanna change, and from this very post on, I am going to improve, add visuals, make notice~

THIS IS MY LIFE, MY STYLE~!!!  (^w^ )y  I AM HERE~!!! NOTICE ME, MY ART AND MY WRITINGS~ =)

Effort

If mopping floor doesn't mean you have dry floor in the end, why on earth do you wanna mop it at the first place?

If stuff is all over the place and you already know later need to sort, why didn't you arrange the stuff first?

If You already know that the person is sorting things, why don't you lend a hand for passing the things?

If you already know that the water is moving towards your stuff that will potentially spoil your stuff, why won't you dry it first?

There are things that can be define as hard and there are also things that is simple, when you screw up on simple things, it doesn't mean that you are stupid, it just meant that you didn't put any effort in doing it right at the first place =(

P.s Sometimes things just need to use a little bit of thinking and you will do it right, but still, after a lot of thinking, I still can't figure out is it that you don't use your brain or you are really that stupid until don't know how to do simple stuff??? =(

Meritorious?

"My life no longer feels like mine and my heart feels too full". The reaction from this phrase that came into my mind was this~ "WHAT?!?!" 

Ironically, I have no idea what was I thinking and why does this particular sentence came to me, but I know that it came from my very own thoughts, maybe even from my heart~ 

I know exactly what changed me for the past few months, I know that I was happier in some part of my life and I certainly are well aware of the warm I felt when in distress but I do realized that all these came from my consent and it will no longer applied if I were to flee~

My soul is like the morning air, cooling and friendly, my body is like a pile of clay, taking any forms that it can, my mind seems to be distorted  in order to descry LOVE, is it meritorious? I can't have an answer for that~

Will it cause me to trap to a beleaguered life? Will my senses kicks in when the magic substance called hormone no longer flooding my system? Who knows? Haha~

 

Meritoriousness blooms from within and in my case, no matter how distorted I think my life is,  endurance is certainly something I am willing to give =)

"My life no longer feels like mine and my heart feels too full", my understanding in this may not clamp to logic senses, but what I get was plain fear from the feeling of being gyved half way through the process, but the second part of the sentence let me know that I will be fine from what I am getting now, at least for NOW  ~^v^y

My life~^^

Everyone falls~

Sometimes it hurts~

Sometimes it heals~

And most of the time, it’s a necessity~

In growth~

Injuries are inevitable~

Pain is unavoidable~

But the experience is irreplaceable~

I fell~

I cried~

I made mistakes~

And I definitely grown~^^

stress

Lately going to have my final exam but I have completely no study mood~ I can't focus, I wonder is it because of stress or the other way around @.@"

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Sunshine ^^

When you stay put in one place and do everyday thing, you will find that some little things became something that is put under the magnifieing glass~ but you walk around, do something new, you will find that your perception is wider and stronger until the extend that the problem is actually puny =]

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Fighting!!!!!

Fight!!!!!!!!!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

keep me going~

Keep having the sense of everything is falling apart. It's not the first time feeling like this but it got worse recently.

I don't know what can I do to prevent myself from becoming society's trash but I am going to fight, I have to…

I cant keep on missing out meetings, deadline and mid terms like this, I need to fight, its not going to be easy especially when you just wanna lie on your bed and sleep and when you can sleep more, you have insomnia =="

However, I found this one thing that can keep me going, for exact, this one person that can calm me down and start to care again on the things around me, I need to care, I need to find that sense of responsibility. I know what I should do and I know that I found this one strength that would keep me going =]

At least I started to ask for help and can blogging about this now~ hope that I can change to high gear soon =]

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Long lost tears~

I lost the ability to cry some time ago~ even if I am watching a very sad movie or someone is dying~ I feel so sad but getting watery and maybe if I am lucky, one drop of tears will drop but tonight~ I cry in a car without any effort being put in~ It just came out like that~ but the ironic part is~ I cry all the way from Ipoh to Kampar and nobody even notice~

I am done waiting for answers that will never come and results that will never present~ I am tired of dating, flirting, waiting and wanting some crap about lone relationship~ done with it~ I have no strength left since long long time ago and I am not regaining that anywhere or from anyone~

Ppl are just too bust treating their own stuff in daily life until forget about there is ppl out there that needs help~ I have been through hell and yes~ in this particular moment~ it feels like shit
~ but after this ungly cry~ I am fine again~ I am already feeling much better thanks to a 20 mins phone call~ Rumors, so what? Bad rep, so what? I am BAD, so what? I like girls, so what? I also like guys, so what? I DON'T CARE ANYMORE~

From this moment on~ I, Janice Choo Ying Yun will only live for myself~ no more unworthy waits, no more care~ BE HAPPY FOR MYSELF~!!!!!! Be happy Be happy Be happy~!!!!!!!!!

give up~

I want to be happy and smile :-) I am done with all those confusion, I am not strong enough to deal with ppl treating me like idiot, I really like her but she don't seem to feel the same~ I am ok with that, I just don't understand why don't just tell me directly~ if there is this slightest possibility that she feel the same, pls tell me directly as well, please don't play me like this~ I don't need to be in a relationship with you if you don't want to, I just wanna know~

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Got shot~

Suddenly everything feels weird like I just got shot somewhere having my blood dripping out from me without knowing where and when I got shot~

I finally remember why I will like the feel of clubbing because it's just simple reason to have fun and stop thinking~^^ Why is that a bad thing anyway~ At least I get a time and place to relax and go blank~ maybe this is the one way I find to lost that sad me because realizing the things that I will never have~

I always use sometimes but come and think of it~ my sometimes don't know since when became most of the time~ I can wait patiently and act like nothing happened but then sometimes things will just go too quiet until you are not even sure if anything had ever happened~

Am I creating something that wasn't there at the first place? Or I am just naive to think that there is an incident at all? I don't want to stop believing in feelings and things like this but do I really have a choice? Am I dying from the inside? I already can feel that my hear beat is going missing~ Maybe I got shot there and maybe it just don't want to recover~

happy~^^

I finally gets to spend time with her :-) I am so happy about it~ :-D I am just happy whenever she is around~ I feel so comfortable ;-)

I wonder if she notice that I care a lot about her and she is important to me~ :-S I sure hope she does~

I wonder what she is thinking, facing, feeling all the time, especially about me, I really wish to know, but I don't want to know as well, because I scare that later the result will be a disaster~ If she wanted to remain this way~ I won't disgrace it as well~ :-D

As long as she is happy, I just let her do what she wants then ;-)

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.3

Why? mood swing?

Lately been having mood swing and I am happy still, just keep on having those moment where I feel like I am stuck in the middle of nowhere~

Today was tired and long because I didn't sleep well yesterday and was having whole day of class~ However it was still ok~ then later at night even have pool~  A friend came back~ She told me through text that she was back here in kampar and I was so happy about it~^^ I really miss her a lot~!!! but then something hit me~ =(

I don't really know how to react when I see her I guess~ she told me that she was facing some problem of her own but then at that very moment~ I was thinking that why won't she talk to me about it~ She is always keeping everything with herself, I really wish if there is somehow a way for me to be closer with her~ but then~ it seems impossible for her to let me in =(

I really like her but I guess without this mutual feeling~ there will always be a gap~ I am really thinking to just like her in silence~ and even when I imagine us being really together also~ I have this feeling of keeping the relationship in the dark~ because a relationship is just between two person with love~ I learned this the hard way from my previous encounter~

Determination?

I was suppose to write diary everyday but then I just go here and there until I FORGOT to do so~ I wonder if I can still remember everything later when I try to write back some of the important and happy ones~^^

Some said that it is better to just remember the happy things and forget about the angry and sad things~ I agree on that and will only write important and happy things in my stuff~^^

I keep on thinking that I am not happy probably because I think too negative and I only write down what is negative and complains~ I should turn this around and be a happy person~ Hopefully my joy and happy aura can bring out the more gentle and good part of pp~ =)

DETERMINE TO BE A HapPyYyyYyYyyyYyyYyYyYyYy Person!!!~ haha =p

New experience?

Hmm~ I wonder if it is consider as a worthy experience or not but~ it's now one of my life's experience~ I know that I am not happy with this time event and things wasn't great~ but then getting fired from an event would be something unexpected thou~

I can't really pin point what I am feeling now because it's kinda blur~ I am not crying, definitely not sad, just numb I guess~ The first time being fired~ feels a bit weird but not that bad~ I am now going to sleep~ just maybe tomorrow I can really have a great happy day like today minus the end part~ haha

It was nice to hang out with last time political science friends and talking to them feels great~^^ And knowing who really care for me now and who back stabbed me =) Got good and bad~ but it's clear~^^

As for my head~ I wonder what is she feeling now~ just hopefully she is not affected by this incident of mine~ She probably won't but just hope that it really won't~ =)

I am now going to sleep, may tomorrow be a good day and good luck to my fellow ex teammate for tomorrow~^^ Cheers~^^  

influences~

It's been awhile since the last time I feel this alive :-) I got everything under control and settled~

Yes, I know that I don't tell problems to ppl often, and as I said, it's because I forgot how and not really a complainer~

Today was kindda nice because I get to talk and promote event~ it's my teritory finally ;-)

I become observer again, no longer ignoring, not to mention caring again :-D

I even ask a girl to go do Charity today~ but her reaction is a bit weird thou~ haha~ not bad, just a bit weird~ haha~ and I am now learning about proton that name with lotus~ how nice :-P

She is actually comforting :-o frankly, I kindda miss her while sem break but didn't contact, I wonder will she misunderstand by thinking that I don't like her~ haha

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

2012~ AWSOME~!!!! =)

From now on~ here is a place for me to be sentimental about what is out there~^^ I will write back all those quotes that I used to like and those things that I used to do~

From now on~ I am going to write diary~ and my personal stuff is going in that and my external stuff is going in here~^^ How nice~^^ I can express in both way and this way~ I won't forget that unique, different side of me~ =) I am glad my 2012 started nicely~ hehe~

Happy 2012 to everyone~ and watch out for this improved version of me~ Janice Choo Ying Yun~^^