seventh relationship, fourth boyfriend

He is so sweet :-) I have decided to give him a chance and let it out :-)

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cute :-) haha :-P

Today is a plain day at first, I got a little unwell because accidentally drank a bottle of soy milk that was expired, haha, really very blur :-P

Then later at night, I got better, and went dinner with friends as usual, everything was plain and normal~

Here comes the cute part, just before one of the last passenger get down from the car, he look to me and said "I like to have dinner with you more and more", this is just so cute and sweet :-P this is the first time any guy ever said something like this to me, haha~

I do find him cute~ hehe~ he is quiet but warm at the same time, somehow made me wanna take a shot, but this one, I will take it slowly, just to make sure how we feel for each other :-) no rush ;-)

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pure lie

I just know that the boyfriend that day is not really her boyfriend, I finally see the real face of her, really a complete lie all this while~

Why on earth is it taking effects on me? If this girl don't love herself, wanted to have multiple boyfriend then why should I care? Especially when this person is the one person that completely don't know how to appreciate you~

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first and also last time

I can hear my own heartbeat stop when I saw the scene, no warning, no explain, just plain shock~

As usual, everything nid to let me feel like I got tested on the spot, but this time, the pain is making me feel like vomiting, literary~ and this is no test~ the first time having the person I like bringing a new partner~

Didn't even have the decency to warn me about her new boyfriend? I could have just stay home or go with other ppl if she would have or anyone would have just warn me about being all in pairs~

I thought she wasn't ready for relationship, I thought she can't handle it but she was with a guy from kl yesterday, as her boyfriend~

As I said, if you don't like me, just say so, don't give me all those crap and let me see this, I can hear my own heart shattered the moment I see their hands holding when I look towards the backseat while in the car~

Earlier that time, I let a friend wait untill gastric, and the other two waiting infront of the shopping complex because go and fetch her "friend", I should have know~ once again, too blind to see it~

I am done with all this crap, done with her~ done~

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Still~

I saw her just now, talk a little bit, she seems to be doing great with her new bracelet and her face does look better =) I am glad that it all went well for her~ She is busy with her assignments and going to teach dance at gym room~

I still go through her profile, and her pictures when I miss her, it's beginning to be a habit of mine~ Became a STALKER now? haha~

Two days ago, a friend asked if I still feel for her and my answer surprised myself~ I answered YES, NEVER CHANGED~ Aren't I suppose to let it go already?

In my heart, I know that I LOVE HER, NEVER STOP~ I am happy just because I get to see her~ I don't want anything from her, I am satisfy just by seeing her once awhile I guess~
I have been changing a lot lately, unfortunately, in a bad way, and I am running away from my assignments, I wonder if last trimester, is this what she was feeling? So crash by assignment and social life and everything else? Yet, I am blind enough to not notice it ='(

I wonder when I dated that guy, did she feel jealous? Will she understand me well enough to know that I was just helping the guy from embarrassment? Or will she think that I have already move on? I hope that she knows but I wish that she will never know~ Let this be a secret and the pain on me alone =')

play but not happy

Today is suppose to be a relaxing and happy day but through the whole trip, I just kept feeling weird instead of happy, I now turned depress and angry somehow because receiving messages from certain sisters of mine~

I am happy that I have friends and glad that I get to spend time with them but the problem is, not everyone can come along :-( I feel like I am choosing to abandon my sister and using the excuse of not having a car :-S

I suddenly feel like I am the worse sister in the world, I am so sorry for not inviting u all, I know I am too playful :'( please forgive me :'(

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still the same ~

I will look at her window still and will hope that she is sleeping well with a smile on my face.

To me, I don't need much, I just need to know that she is ok, but still~ I never knew that dating me is actually a horrifying thing to do :-(

I will find a place to burry my love, won't let her know so that she don't stress ;-)

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really?

I just came back from suppher and my friends told me something that I can't really believe~ I refuse to believe it~ :-(

They told me about her history, even told me the name of the guy she played before~ I know that she is capable of doing that, but as I said, I refuse to belief that~

Maybe I am plain naive for falling for a player, but I do love her still, I know I am hopeless, but what can I do?

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phone blog~

I am using my phone to write blog~

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Clubbing night~

I was asked to go clubbing, and I went =) I was aiming to have fun and I did^^ I went into a sexy dance competition, met a girl that is pretty cool~ I even learned some move from one of them^^ Had 9 shots of TEQUILA!!!

She came later~ I purposely have almost zero contact with her after my birthday because my heart really shatter to dust from what she said~ I don't think she cares and maybe even notice~ Throughout the whole night, I was interacting and dancing with others but then she gone up dancing without anyone protecting her and I was pushed by a friend to be the protector~ but due to drinking and high heels, I have to stand still for a while, and from holding each other's waist, it suddenly become a hug~ It just feel so familiar and warm but then I just walk away to the bathroom~ I don't want that and don't need that especially not from someone that CAN'T LOVE ME even if she DO LOVE ME~