first and also last time

I can hear my own heartbeat stop when I saw the scene, no warning, no explain, just plain shock~

As usual, everything nid to let me feel like I got tested on the spot, but this time, the pain is making me feel like vomiting, literary~ and this is no test~ the first time having the person I like bringing a new partner~

Didn't even have the decency to warn me about her new boyfriend? I could have just stay home or go with other ppl if she would have or anyone would have just warn me about being all in pairs~

I thought she wasn't ready for relationship, I thought she can't handle it but she was with a guy from kl yesterday, as her boyfriend~

As I said, if you don't like me, just say so, don't give me all those crap and let me see this, I can hear my own heart shattered the moment I see their hands holding when I look towards the backseat while in the car~

Earlier that time, I let a friend wait untill gastric, and the other two waiting infront of the shopping complex because go and fetch her "friend", I should have know~ once again, too blind to see it~

I am done with all this crap, done with her~ done~

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My Birthday~

Start with SWEET memory first:
Out of a sudden~ I did something CRAZY again!!! I went to LANGKAWI with friends abruptly with a last minute notice =p BANANA BOAT!!!~ WoHooOooo!!!! Then we had a WHOLE BODY THAI SPA!!!^^ hehe~ I try BEACH DRESS for the first time and got a BIKINI as present from her^^ Was asked on stage, and gotten REALLY DRUNK at night~ haha~ FUN!!! The next day we bought a lot of CHOCOLATES and went PENANG~ At night, TAO for dinner^^ then CLUBBING!!! MOIST~ She went for SEXY DANCE competition~ Watching her dance suddenly lead me thinking back a lot of SWEET memory (@v@) The next day, we ate at T BOWL~ Watched a movie, and do a little shopping^^ Actually I am just glad that I get to spend my birthday with her, haha (^o^)v I am Janice Choo and I am happy (^o^)~

Now for the NOT SO SWEET part:
I have to let go of my chance to go PANGKOR with my other gang of friend and kinda made one of my sister emo about that~ GUILTY!!! =( The bad part is~ I miss out the chance to go out with a friend that is going back GERMANY~

Now~ THE PAIN part:
Both physically and emotionally injured, everything was fun until PENANG, when at TAO, she got emo and it was obvious until I can't pretend that I don't see it, was due to er EX =( Then at moist, she got drunk really fast, and ended up HUGGING a GUY, my mood CRASHED!!! My leg went swollen and body injured due to preventing her from falling~ In room, she said things that I almost think she can KILL ME WITH WORDS~ I keep on apologizing to the girl that brought us there but then the girl went apologizing to me because my birthday ended up in TEARS~ FUCK!!!! Then the next day on the way home, she said something that SHATTERS me, " After my ex, I couldn't find back the feeling of love anymore" Does this mean she had NEVER loved me? Or she just completely forgot that we DATED before?