Today is really a weird day for me~ I experienced a feeling that feels like my heart is being carve with a knife. Without knowing what am I feeling, I just turn extremely down, this phone call before my last class really give me a whole new experience.We are actually not that close but when I have trouble that time, they were the friends that stay right by me^^ Touching memory^^ However, this time I am just lost, our friend just past away from surgery caused by kidney failure, I know that she is sick but I never though that she will just past away like that. They all meant a lot to me but all I can do now is nothing =( I never knew that listening to a 25 years old guy cry like that through the phone for an hour is really nothing near to what I can handle. He is crying his lungs out and all I can do is hold the phone and listen, I feel useless but what else could I have done~ I just pretend to be happy later on so that I can get over this but I just have this squeezing feeling in my heart that I can't tell anyone =(