Here I am again~ emo-ing~ I wonder why on earth do I torture myself like that~ U know wat? After I think of it~ Actually I really have no reason to be depressed but I do~ y the hell do I feel this way?
I keep having this feeling like the gravity is pulling me down~ Did I really handle things badly or is it just in my mind? Lets check~
Event~I should give jobs to my assistant to do which I did since I am the leader, they should sometimes make their own decision and give opinions as long as they tell or discuss with me which they did also, which is good~ nothing wrong here~ I did have some problem and nid to make some minor changes here and there but I manage to do so~ I am still in control I guess~ not bad~ Checked~
Exhibition~I did have some trouble with it at first because seems like a lot to do but "Usually" and I manage it quite well wat~ no sweat~ So this is still OK~ Checked~
Mid Term~ Although made some stupid mistake and somehow reading books feels like being force to read but it only consist of 10 out of hundred overall, I did get upset for awhile but fine now~ Just that I nid to have my rythm back in reading~ but overall~ still OK~checked
Assignment~Well...today did got a little shocked but still manage to handle it^^ As for the others~ planning on finishing it today and better send one more time the things that I have already sent just to be sure but if they didn't get it, they will ask wat, impossible no asking rite so this should means no problem^^ No sweat then^^ Checked~
Relationship~This is probably the biggest checked I will give^^ The only thing I can still give out a genuine smile =)
Friends~Maybe this is wat that is killing me~ I really treat him as a friend but recently I feel like I dnt know him anymore =( Even if my face didn't show anything, it feels like a piece of me went missing~ The fake smile of him feels like acid in my heart T-T Did I do smthg wrong? Sometimes I might say smthg not nice to hear but if u really think of it~ I just want to skip the unnecessary things so that everything can move faster~ Sometimes I might not talk in those polite way~ But have u notice? Have u ever notice that only when I really treat ppl as a friend, I cut down those polite ways of talking? Am I wrong? Is stating facts wrong? I am not trying to brag, just telling truth, is that wrong? Ppl prefer fake friends instead? =(
Even if I did something wrong, pls don't go away silently~ I am slow, I wont understand unless you tell me~ I keep on feeling that I have a lot of friends but in some class, I still sit alone and I still have to make an effort to communicate and if I don't, nobody talks to me~ I am so not nice to talk to huh? I wonder~ have they ever consider that this is a cruel thing to do to a person? Maybe it's my fault, I just go so depressed because the "he" is no longer the "he" I know =( Might of just pick out a long and sharp knife then step me in the heart~ Sigh~ U know wat? I give up~ I let go, maybe it's best for both of us, maybe I still might cry every now and then for a short period but I'll be fine~ "smile"~Checked~
That's it~ What is decided id decided~ suddenly feel like I can breath again~ maybe after I double check my assignment and finished what is left~ I will feel even lighter^^
I keep having this feeling like the gravity is pulling me down~ Did I really handle things badly or is it just in my mind? Lets check~
Event~I should give jobs to my assistant to do which I did since I am the leader, they should sometimes make their own decision and give opinions as long as they tell or discuss with me which they did also, which is good~ nothing wrong here~ I did have some problem and nid to make some minor changes here and there but I manage to do so~ I am still in control I guess~ not bad~ Checked~
Exhibition~I did have some trouble with it at first because seems like a lot to do but "Usually" and I manage it quite well wat~ no sweat~ So this is still OK~ Checked~
Mid Term~ Although made some stupid mistake and somehow reading books feels like being force to read but it only consist of 10 out of hundred overall, I did get upset for awhile but fine now~ Just that I nid to have my rythm back in reading~ but overall~ still OK~checked
Assignment~Well...today did got a little shocked but still manage to handle it^^ As for the others~ planning on finishing it today and better send one more time the things that I have already sent just to be sure but if they didn't get it, they will ask wat, impossible no asking rite so this should means no problem^^ No sweat then^^ Checked~
Relationship~This is probably the biggest checked I will give^^ The only thing I can still give out a genuine smile =)
Friends~Maybe this is wat that is killing me~ I really treat him as a friend but recently I feel like I dnt know him anymore =( Even if my face didn't show anything, it feels like a piece of me went missing~ The fake smile of him feels like acid in my heart T-T Did I do smthg wrong? Sometimes I might say smthg not nice to hear but if u really think of it~ I just want to skip the unnecessary things so that everything can move faster~ Sometimes I might not talk in those polite way~ But have u notice? Have u ever notice that only when I really treat ppl as a friend, I cut down those polite ways of talking? Am I wrong? Is stating facts wrong? I am not trying to brag, just telling truth, is that wrong? Ppl prefer fake friends instead? =(
Even if I did something wrong, pls don't go away silently~ I am slow, I wont understand unless you tell me~ I keep on feeling that I have a lot of friends but in some class, I still sit alone and I still have to make an effort to communicate and if I don't, nobody talks to me~ I am so not nice to talk to huh? I wonder~ have they ever consider that this is a cruel thing to do to a person? Maybe it's my fault, I just go so depressed because the "he" is no longer the "he" I know =( Might of just pick out a long and sharp knife then step me in the heart~ Sigh~ U know wat? I give up~ I let go, maybe it's best for both of us, maybe I still might cry every now and then for a short period but I'll be fine~ "smile"~Checked~
That's it~ What is decided id decided~ suddenly feel like I can breath again~ maybe after I double check my assignment and finished what is left~ I will feel even lighter^^
