Mistake?

I now nid a place to scream and blog seems perfect~ Recently facing a lot of stress, my family is not communicating with each other, my ptptn is still in trouble, I might not get to study anymore and the worse part is I got myself a partner... Maybe that girl was right of scolding me, this girl is someone I know a long time time back and I used to date her brother~ turns out that when u play too much at the past, the past really will come back to hunt u~ Maybe she is right, maybe I really dnt deserve love and maybe i will just end up breaking other's heart~

I thought I can change and stop breaking hearts and actually commit to someone, but she reminded me that I am just fooling myself~ I am not sure if I am really ready to commit but I am sure that I really really like my current gf a lot~ or maybe I should say ex gf since I just broke up with her yesterday~ I have never felt so safe and so comfortable with anyone else b4 and this scares me even more~ what if I really did something wrong to hurt her, I dnt deserved her love~ I keep my answer short when break with her to prevent myself from crying, stupid but effective~

I decided to be as cruel as possible to break up with her but my heart feels like dripping blood~ Did I made the right choice? Is this a wise decision? To go away b4 she sank too deep for me? I hope I did, better to hurt her now b4 she really falls for me and b4 she really do something that she will regret doing~